|echoes and memories
||[Aug. 31st, 2008|09:57 pm]
UK National Bisexual Conference
I only realised today just how much the venue was affecting me this year. The venue we used was *exactly* where I dropped my son off to begin his university career. I even went into his old room in his old hall. It knocked me for six basically. He didn't have an easy time of it there, to say the least, as an undiagnosed Aspie. He began to self-harm there, became seriously depressed and failed his first year. His second year when he lived in a shared house didn't go any better and we eventually pulled him out and looked after him at home. He's never been able to restart at uni and even coping with OU has proved too much for him. It's not exactly that I blame Leicester, but in my heart it feels as if I had a normal kid until he went there. And then things went horribly wrong. Now I *know* that's not rational. I also know it's not rational to get upset about it, but I have been exhausted for much of BiCon and I do think it was a lot to do with having to push down those echoes of the past and get on with it. Towards the end I did start getting emotional and talked to a few people about why, I guess before that I was just keeping it all in and that's exhausting work on its own.|
Thanks to all who have been patient with me while I was not acting like my normal self. Normal service may be resumed next year at Worcester, with any luck!